Your mom may live down the street from you, across town, in the same state or many miles away. You may visit her a few times a week, a month or see her on the holidays with the grandkids, but you always keep in touch with her over the phone. She enjoys her independence, or at least she tells you that. But you may be seeing some things that just don't seem right.
For instance, her car may have some dings or dents that you didn't notice before or she can't explain how they got there, or the wheel alignment may be off due to running over curbs because of poor depth perception. The house may not be as clean and picked up as you're accustomed to: there are spider webs in the corners that she may not have noticed, and the pots and pans may have burnt-on food because she left them on the stove too long.
For safety's sake, you sign her up for a Life Line service in case she falls and can't reach the phone to call for assistance. You install grab bars in the shower and buy a bath bench so she has more stability while she's bathing. You accompany her to her doctor's appointments when you can and make sure she knows how often to take her medications. But you still notice some things that just aren't right. Mom's friends may be asking why she's not showing up to her weekly bridge games, or she may be calling you up repeatedly, unaware of the last time she called or repeating the same information to you. At this point, it may be time to broach the subject of home care.
Ask mom about the dents in the car, the missed bridge games and the cluttered house. These may be hard questions to pose, like asking a child why he hasn't done his chores, but at this stage of life, many adult children do indeed take on the parenting role with their parents. In fact, there's even a name for this demographic: the sandwich generation. Many couples waited well into their 40s to have kids due to the economy, which has led to a dual set of responsibilities: caring for their own children and their elderly parents. You want the best for both your kids and your parents, but you can't always be there physically for the latter.
You can gradually introduce the idea of a home care companion for your mom by asking her, "Wouldn't it be nice if you could get out more and have someone drive you to bridge club, your doctors' appointments and the grocery store?" If mom has stopped cooking for herself and instead uses the microwave all the time, explain that someone could come in a few times a week, make up a batch of home-cooked meals and put them into zip-lock bags in the freezer so she can warm them up at dinner time. A home care companion can see the out-of-the-way spots that mom might've missed while cleaning and do the chores that might be too much for her to handle, such as setting out the trash cans curb-side or changing the litter box.
We all need help as we get older; and when age keeps us from doing the things we love, such as socializing, or simply doing the things we need to do, including bathing and self-care, we may be too embarrassed to ask for assistance. You want mom to thrive at home, and you need to know that the person who's helping her is a trusted, bonded and reliable individual. We at Home Health Care Inc. know how important this is; and as a state-licensed agency with 27 years' of experience, we can answer all of the questions you may have and address your concerns. Contact us for a free, in-home evaluation of your mom's needs; we will assess the level of care your mom requires and match her with one of our experienced and compassionate caregivers to give you both peace of mind.
